


what's wrong, my dear (why can't you wipe it clear)

by Not_A_Valid_Opinion



Category: Battle For Dream Island (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Health Issues, but the latter two aren't really in this they're just mentioned, but this is soft okay, four has undiagnosed bpd, four needs a hug and goddamnit they gonna get one, mainly about four and x but the rest of the contestants are there, mentions of two and nine, set after TPOT starts but no specific placement in the series, this fic is about a low day, two uses it/they and nine uses they/them, x uses he/they and four uses they/he pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29971632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_A_Valid_Opinion/pseuds/Not_A_Valid_Opinion
Summary: If Four was trying to be more cooperative, then X wanted to try, too. He didn’t want to lose a friend like Four.But he did lose Four.Quite literally, too- the number hadn’t shown up for today’s competition.
Relationships: Four & X (Battle For Dream Island), Four/X (Battle For Dream Island)
Kudos: 5





	what's wrong, my dear (why can't you wipe it clear)

**Author's Note:**

> Just to preface, I don't say the word BPD anywhere in this fic. That's not what it's about. It's a character needing a hug and getting one. That's what I needed to write and that's what you're in for reading. 
> 
> Also I still call it Elsewhere out of habit and the Pillary Ruins sounds. Unfortunate.
> 
> Also there's a chance I mess up pronouns in this. I tried to exclusively use they/them for Four and he/him for X but they both use a mix of them both in BFB and I noticed while editing this I couldn't break that connection completely I think I fixed it fully but ya, sorry for the confusion if I mix them up and didn't catch it in the edit.

Even though Four would prance into his place at random hours of their already few competition-less days to announce new ideas for the show or to proclaim they simply _had_ to watch this movie they brought over _right this second_ because X would love it (he usually did, but watching Four get excited was better), X had never been to Four’s house. 

Four would always find odd reasons to show up at X’s front doorstep. Once, it was to ask for help inflating balloons because they were out of breath. Another few times, Four brought X stuff they’d found on Elsewhere they thought X might like or they simply wanted to show off and keep themselves (rocks with faces, contestant suck-up gifts, things like that). Sometimes, Four would come over to his place and take something, only to leave moments later. Usually, bowls. One time a spoon. It became unsurprising to hear their familiar four-patterned knock at X’s door, though it still surprised X the random things Four would come up with to simply be allowed access inside. 

Four had unbelievable powers, even surpassing those of the other Algebraliens with their contextualization abilities, and X knew if they _really_ needed things they could essentially create them with little effort or displace them from X’s house into their own without the scene of knocking on his door, announcing they were going to take something, and then leaving with that thing. 

The number always, despite their pushy attitude at times, knocked first. X knew very well they could just teleport inside, but even though X had never forbade coming in without permission, Four seemed to make a point of knocking at the door. Not that the variable was complaining, but Four had… well, _issues,_ to say the least. They tended to not notice things like personal space or high-running emotions. Oftentimes, Four would blunder past social interactions with their own kind; on Elsewhere, X noticed a certain directness that most of the contestants possessed that even he had to adjust to. The number, however, had more issues with this than he; they’d been a lot more quick to react to obstacles by, er, _removing_ them altogether. Adjusting wasn’t really their thing. 

Privacy was one of the things that wasn’t really a big deal back where they were from, but it was more so for variables than it was for numbers. It was just a preference, one he hadn’t particularly _shared_ with Four simply because the number never pushed that one particular boundary, anyway. It was never something they had to adjust to since they always seemed to be a private person themselves. Half the time, X had no idea what was going on in Four’s head, and though he’d known the Algebralien for years- he somehow still felt like he didn’t know Four all that well. 

But he wanted to learn. Four wasn’t just his co-host, they were his _friend._ If it wasn’t for Four, X wouldn’t know his value. The number was difficult to handle at the best of times, especially since coming to Elsewhere, and they took that out on everyone. 

X included. 

When Two showed up and X, practically pushed in its direction, left Four- life became _boring._ X would have rather been screeched than hung out with an Algebralien who wasn’t even as good at patty cake as it said it was, but he’d thought Four had wanted him to leave. After all, he had been pointed away… 

But he’d missed something, apparently, because Four organized an entire competition around getting him back. And now that he was, he could tell the number was _trying_ to be kinder. They’d hardly screeched anybody in months, and X had been practically unharmed save for a few, unrelated incidents involving challenges themselves. 

If Four was trying to be more cooperative, then X wanted to try, too. He didn’t want to lose a friend like Four. 

But he did lose Four. Quite literally, too- the number hadn’t shown up for today’s competition. 

Being late to work was something X would have _liked_ to criticize Four for, if not for the fact that they didn’t show up at all. No notice, no call, no heads-up or news about where they had gone. Four simply hadn’t shown up, and X had only been given a briefing of the competition plans rather than the entire plotted script, which Four usually took care of. Without Four there, X had to debate withholding the competition to find his co-host or pushing through without them. 

Upon the pressure of the many contestants demanding they start while there was still daylight, X caves. 

“Today’s competition will be to… uh,” he stammers, unsure how Four could possibly be so good at ad-libbing entire competitions. So long as they were gone, though, X had to come up with _something,_ and they weren’t sure if they had enough to go off with the snippet of today’s plans he was aware of. X had run competitions before- he could do it again. As long as he didn’t damage the show’s budget, he’d be fine. 

WWFD. _What Would Four Do?_ X’s eyebrows raise when an idea pops into his head. 

“Today’s competition will be to find Four.” 

The contestants groan. 

“Like how they made us find you before? Isn’t that just the same thing again?” Lollipop questions, hands on her hips. 

X thinks about this. “Well, no… you had to get me from somewhere you already knew I was, then… You don’t know where Four is.” 

Gelatin snaps his fingers. “I get it! It’s like hide n’ seek.” 

X isn’t sure what that is, but the name makes sense. “Yes. Four is… hiding, I think, and you’ll seek them out.”   
“Wait, you _guess?_ You don’t know where they are either?” Flower demands, spitting a little, and X has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at her. 

Instead of retaliating, X rubs his arm. “They didn’t show up today…” 

The contestants mumble amongst themselves. Then Flower speaks up again; “So we just have to find Four and bring them to you? Where did you see Four last?” 

Well, that’s easy. Four and X watched a scary movie last night. X doesn’t care for them much, but Four promised it was more funny than it was scary. They were right, but X had still jumped quite a few times, which Four laughed at harder than any of the jokes in the movie. 

It had been nice, though. X liked spending downtime with Four. He’d come to look forward to the unsolicited _knock knock knock knock_ at his door that presented Four and their random gimmick for the day. Not that they showed up _every_ day- sometimes Four would take their week long breaks and spend it in total isolation. X wasn’t sure what they got up to on their days off when they weren’t with X, but the curiosity had gotten to the best of him a few times. 

Occasionally, X would be the one to knock on their door. Even if they didn’t hang out in Four’s place, he would have liked to suggest plans around Elsewhere or even back at his own house. And yet, if Four was home, X wouldn’t know because they hardly ever answered the door. 

Except for once. X had knocked, and very quickly, Four had answered- sticking their head out of the doorframe to keep it as closed as possible. They stared at X somewhat suspiciously, so X had been somewhat uncomfortable when he asked to come in. 

“No,” Four had said, and then closed the door in his face. X didn’t ask them about it the next time Four came over, which hadn’t been until after two competitions put space between their next impromptu visit. 

X got the message loud and clear- Four’s house was a boundary. The number seemed to have a lot of those, and X was still learning them all. Even when they’d filmed the subscriber movie for Seven, Four had built an entirely new house to use for the set. They’d asked to film it at X’s, but the variable had lied and said that he wasn’t comfortable filming anything in his house, instead suggesting they do it at Four’s. This was before their blatant refusal of admission into the home, and Four’s scrunched up expression had already begun to convey that disdain for added presence into their house. In order to film their skit for Seven, Four summoned a whole new house, seeming distracted throughout the entire filming processes and barely having memorized the script X wrote up (even though they’d practiced it together at X’s house). 

It still bothered X that Four had made a whole new place for that skit. They hadn’t even been happy while filming it. Would their own house really not have been better? Was there something about having guests over that bothered Four, despite being one at X’s frequently? Was Four’s house the problem, even though they’d made it themselves, same as they’d made the one for X? 

Was it _him?_

“X!” snaps Flower, and X jumps, realizing he’d been thinking for a _while._ Right, the question. Where had he seen Four last? They’d watched a movie, and then Four had left, presumably to go back to their own house as it had been quite late. 

“Right- sorry, ah… Four might be in their house. But! You can’t go there. Four doesn’t like having people in there,” he says in a rush. 

The contestant’s voices overlap in outrage. 

“If they’re in their house and we can’t go there then HOW do we win the competition?” 

“Why can’t we go there?” 

“This is so stupid!” 

X covers his hearing sensors. “Be quiet! I get what you’re saying, but Four _really_ doesn’t like having people in their house. So… ”

Lollipop steps forward, taking charge once again. “Dearest X, your competition has a _major_ flaw in it. So here’s my proposal. Why don’t _you_ go check their house and see if they’re home. They like you- I’m sure the same rules that apply to us about visiting hosts at their homes wont apply to you, their dear friend and co-host with the most, amirite? So, you go check. And if they’re not there, then we’ll proceed with the competition to find them. And… if they are, then you can get them to take over for you and we can proceed as planned. Sound good?” 

X frowns, thinking this over while twiddling his thumbs anxiously. He wasn’t sure… Four had made it pretty clear even he wasn’t welcome there. But Lollipop was right; the competition didn’t work if Four was at home and X had set a rule not to go there. 

He sighs. “Okay. You’re right. I’ll be back, I guess.” 

Hesitantly, X begins to head up the hill to where their house is, wringing his fingers together in worry. The blue house looks and feels massively intimidating under the pressure he was, but X’s mind couldn’t help but wander. What if Four didn’t show up because they were hurt? What if something happened? What if they’d been kidnapped? What if they were-

He steels himself. Four was powerful, and not only that, but they were _stubborn._ So they were probably fine. Sleeping, maybe. Forgot there was a competition today. Anything but the worst. 

Finding the door unlocked when he gets there is more than a little worrisome, however. 

“Four?” He calls into the dark hallway. The door had easily swung open at his knock, patterned to a four out of habit than anything. Gently, X closes the door behind him, looking around as he edges inside. 

Four’s house was… empty. Square, like he’d expected, with a blue couch in the center and, peculiarly enough, a yellow rug right next to it. Yet around it, nothing. X doesn’t see a single thing in the living room, not even a television or a beanbag. Four had made X a comfortable beanbag chair for his living room, and they’d always sat on it when they came over to his house, so X figured they’d have one in their own home, too- yet, there was nothing to suggest so. The only decoration that he could see, aside from the rug, was a picture frame on the wall of Nine, shades on and thumbs out on their signature skateboard. It was signed, too. X is grateful he can see in the dark to read the thing, signed by Nine themself; _Hey, Four, Stay C00l- Nine_. X stares at it for a second before he backs out of the supposed living room and, accidentally, into the kitchen directly across from it. 

It sure looked like a kitchen, but it didn’t feel like one. Cabinets, counters, a sink and a fridge, sure; but it felt… off. Unhomely. 

X shakes their body, reminding themselves that they were there for Four. His friend wouldn’t be happy if he went snooping. It was probably bad enough as it was that X was in their home without permission; looking around out of curiosity rather than for the purpose of finding his friend and ensuring their safety took priority. 

“Four…?” He calls out again, slowly becoming worried they weren’t home after all. What if Four came home, safe and sound, only to find X there? They’d be angry, for sure. X didn’t want to go to the limb reattachment center again. 

Still. If Four was hurt, and that’s why they weren’t answering, then finding them made the chance of getting hurt himself worth it. X keeps going through the house and pushes the first door he sees open, peering inside for just long enough to be able to tell there were no numbers inside. It looked like a study of some sort. He closes the door and opens another. A closet, full of heavy blankets. Did Four get cold a lot? It was pretty chilly in the house, actually. X wasn’t sure if he could see his breath or not with how dark it was and how blue the walls and floor were to begin with. Maybe if he could find a thermostat or a light switch… 

_Focus,_ he has to remind himself as he closes the door to the linen closet and keeps onward. He repeats this process for two more doors before repeating the process on the one furthest down the hall, as unremarkable as any other. 

Yet, Four is inside. 

“Four?” X asks, more out of surprise than a need for conformation. He can see a bed, a desk, and papers scattered all around the floor and taped to the wall; yet it’s the bundle of blankets and pillows on the ground and the number huddled underneath that has him surprised. 

For one, because Four wasn’t even on the _bed,_ and for two, because they didn’t look up when X entered. 

Hesitantly, the variable kneels to the floor and crawls over to them, trying to see if they were injured. It was hard to tell, what with the heavy pile of blankets and pillows both atop and underneath them. By all accounts, it looked like a pillow fort that had crashed down. Were they _stuck?_

“Four?” X prods again, baffled by his own guess. There was no way Four was just stuck. They had to be choosing not to get up. So why… 

“... Hi, X.”   
X blinks. Oh. Though Four hadn’t looked up from their droopy gaze to the floor, they acknowledged him. Uncertainly, X scratches his upper nub, crossing his legs on the floor. He leaves space between himself and Four, but tries to stay close- _wants_ to stay close. “Are you… okay? You didn’t come to the competition today. I was worried.” 

At this, Four lifts their head up, just a little. “You… were. Worried?” 

“... Well, yeah. I’m… sorry for coming into your house like this. I know you didn’t want me in here, but I wasn’t sure where you were, so-”   
“It’s fine.” 

X blinks. Four seems to realize their response was a cut-off, too, and shrinks into the blankets a little more, hugging a pillow to their chest and dipping their head into its cushion. X can see their hands clenching its cover in tight, shaky fists. They mumble something into it. 

X has great hearing, though. He always can tell what Four is saying, even when completely muffled.

_I’m sorry._

The words are baffling to X. Four didn’t like apologizing. Sure, they’d done it before, but ever so rarely. They’d only ever apologized to X once, when he’d left for TPOT on Four’s desperate suggestion (demand) and the number had finally gotten him back, apologizing for making him feel like he’d been sent away. 

They’d had a conversation, after that. 

_“You need to work on your communications skills. I thought you_ wanted _me to leave.”_

_Four had whined. “I know! I know. I don’t know how, but I- I’ll work on that. I promise.”_

_X had felt more heard than he had in a long time. “Together.”_

_The feeling only grew when Four pulled him into a hug. “Together.”_

_(It helped seal the deal that Four was really good at patty cake, too.)_

“You…” he repeats, still somewhat unbelieving of what he’d just heard. “Four, I’m not mad. I’m- confused, yes, and a little scared because I don’t know what’s wrong.” 

Four clutches the pillow tighter. When they don’t respond, X continues; “If… if something is wrong, you can tell me. You’re my friend and I want to be able to help you when you’re hurting.” 

No response. X taps his knees with his hands, trying to appear casual so Four won’t know how much he feels like freaking out over their despondency. Four was a lot of things- difficult, eccentric, charismatic, brutally honest- but _quiet_ wasn’t one of them. 

He remembers the picture in the living room. “If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s okay. But you should talk to someone. Do… you want me to go get someone? I… I can get Nine if you want.” 

At that, Four shakes both their head and the pillow. Slowly, they peel the pillow away and stare dejectedly at their feet, hidden behind the mass of blankets. “It’s… not that,” they say, carefully. “I trust you, X, I do, I just. Don’t know how to talk about this stuff.” 

X nods. 

_I don’t know how, but I- I’ll work on that. I promise._

Maybe X needed to work on that, too. 

Together. Right? 

“Can you... start with what happened today?” he asks gently. 

It takes a while for Four to collect their words. X waits, worried but patient. “Sometimes... I feel. Distant. Like… My body feels far away. Everything looks abstract. It’s… hard to do anything. Nothing feels right,” they admit, their voice shaky. “It’s not like I’m sad, not like sad _should_ feel. It’s just… heavy. And I woke up today and just felt so… disconnected. Even though I was fine yesterday. It’s so- _stupid,_ it’s like sometimes I’m _fine_ and then other days I’m moving _fast_ and then I’m- rolling out of bed but never making it out of my room.” 

X processes this. He tries to think back to their time spent on their homeplanet or even at the various algebraic playgrounds stationed along the populated planets their kind migrated across, tries to remember if he’s ever seen Four acting in any way like today, if there was something he missed. He does, very vaguely yet painfully sharp now, recall a time when they were younger and Four was angry. They’d tried uprooting the teeter tot, only to regret their attempt after a slight struggle, and had been upset. X remembers, somewhat hazily, trailing after Four after they’d dragged themselves away from the thing. 

_“Why did you do that?” X had asked, confused._

_Four hadn’t stopped walking, though there wasn’t much vigor to their steps. “Do what?”_

_“... Get angry. I mean, it’s just a teeter tot.”_

_Four didn’t stop walking in their response, but X had stopped following after it._

_“I don’t know!” They’d snapped, “Because there’s something wrong with me. Leave me alone.”_

_(They’d acted like nothing happened the next day, and it was the first time X had ever experienced emotional whiplash from Four- and far from the last)._

  
  


“I’m sorry,” X says.

Four rolls their eyes. “Don’t. It’s obviously not your fault so don’t-” 

“-for not noticing, sooner,” X continues, holding out a hand to placate the number. “Or, I guess… for not trying harder to be there for you when I did. Four… I don’t really know how to help you right now, but I want to.” 

Four’s eyes close. Then, somewhat vehemently; “Why are you here?” 

X can’t keep the surprise off his face. “Because you’re my friend… and because you had me worried. You didn’t show up to work, and that’s not like you.” 

“No, I mean-” X whines, voice going from rough to squeaky in seconds; “ _why_ are you here? Why are you my _friend?”_

X watches as the number releases their claws, tearing apart the very pillow they’d been cradling since X first walked in. They stare at the carnage of fluff angrily, huffing from the seemingly exhausting effort before tossing the remains to the ground around them. Hands now empty, Four reaches for more blankets, pulling them further over their body. The momentary anger is replaced by a weepy expression that hurts X to look at. 

The variable sighs. “Four… you’re my friend because I like spending time with you. I volunteered to co-host with you because you make me happy.” 

Four shakes their head. “All I ever do is hurt you. That can’t make you happy.” 

“... no, _that_ doesn’t. But you protect me, too. And you’ve grown a lot since coming to Elsewhere, Four. I have, too. I think coming here together was good for us.” 

Gingerly, the number looks up. It’s quiet for a while as Four simply stares at him, seemingly debating something. Then; “You won’t leave again, right? I… I don’t want you. To. Leave,” they say through clenched teeth. 

X shuffles closer to the bundle of blankets on the floor. Four watches carefully as he does but doesn’t object to the proximity. Once at their side, X leans against the pile of blankets, staring at the door instead of Four’s face. 

He wasn’t sure why Four was suddenly so worried X would leave again. They were fine last night, while they were watching their movie. It was a scary film; maybe Four had had a nightmare. 

Of maybe Four processed things differently, in a way X wasn’t ever really going to understand. For Four, the world seemed to be a lot more… complicated, than it was for X. There was a lot more they thought about, and a lot more they could focus on. X supposed that that meant the bad things were focused on a lot more, too. 

X wasn’t sure how to help. But he knew what Four needed to hear.

“I’m not leaving until you are,” he says, and he means it. Four was his friend. They’d helped him find his value. They’d built BFB from scratch and organized nearly all the competitions themself while protecting its invaluable budget. They’d fought off bullies for X when they were younger. They always knocked before asking to be let inside. 

And X would always let them inside. Which reminds him… 

X shuffles his hand through his pocket (a little divet in his skin used for small storage). It takes a few seconds of feeling around, but he finds the object he’s looking for. 

Four watches as X holds up the yellow key. “Here,” he says, twisting on the pile of blankets so the body within could better see what he was holding out. 

The number stares at it. Their weary eyes fill with confusion. “Your... house key?” 

X lets out a little noise of conformation. “I figured, since you always come over anyway and I _like_ your company, you can have the spare.” 

Four stares at it. Then, blankly; “I never made you a spare.” 

X shrugs. “I made it myself.” 

Eyes dart between the extended key and X’s encouraging expression. Gingerly, Four frees their arm from the blanket they’d tucked it under and grabs the key; they stare at it with dilated pupils. “Are… you sure? I can just… let myself in?” 

X nods. “Yep. And… you know, I have an extra room. You… made me a lot of them- which I appreciate- but, I don't have that many things. I wouldn’t mind it if you felt like staying the night every once in a while.” 

He means it, too. It gets… lonely, without Four. Yes, they could be a lot- and they could fight a lot, too. X wasn’t ignorant to how things could end up between them. Yet, it always came back to this; Four and X, together. 

X was willing to work for that. 

Four, without much warning, begins to cry. Before X can wonder if they’re upset by his proposal, the number melts out from under the blankets and wraps themself around X. 

X hugs back, and they fit together like algebra.

**Author's Note:**

> Lollipop: is he... coming back?  
> Flower: i doubt it  
> Lollipop: so what do we do now, then?  
> Flower:  
> Flower, pulling out a new line of sweaters: 
> 
> (i'm @ dasicality on insta (mainly) and tumblr (sometimes) if anybody wants to give ME a hug or just fucking crush me in one)


End file.
